• Summary - Alpha Flight v.3 #1

    Issue: Alpha Flight - Volume 3 #1
    Date: May 2004
    Story:You Gotta Be Kiddin' Me! Part 1 of 6

    Feature Characters: Walter Langkowski (Sasquatch), Yukotujakzurjimosoata (Yukon Jack), Zuzha Yu, Nemesis, Major Mapleleaf II, Rutherford Princeton
    Regular Characters: Thunder,
    Guest Stars: NoneVillains: None
    Other Characters: Strippers, nurses, school children, bar thugs, hunters.

    Synopsis:The book starts off at an undefined point in the future, with "The New Alpha Flight" in what seems to be mid battle.

    Now in a more present time, we meet a new character named Yukotujakzurjimosoata. He seems to be some immortal-god-type guy, who talks like Thor. He saves a deer from some hunters, just in time for Walter Langkowsky to pop our of the wood, to ask him to join his new Alpha Flight. His response to Walt's request was a vague "Why Should I" to which Walt had no real answer.

    Next we find ourselves in a Montreal Campus bar. The bartender is a young attractive Asian-Canadian woman. When a brawl breaks out, she leaps the bar, kicks the buts of the big rowdies, protecting her bar. The entire time Walt was sitting in the corner. He asks her to join his new Alpha Flight, using the old "world that hate's and fear's you line". Here response: "Thanks, but No".

    Now in a secret old Department H lab, Walt is speaking with Nemesis. He has injected her with Nano-Technology to keep her from attacking him, or other members of Alpha Flight. When he has explained this to her, she stumps him asking if this will protect them again her should she attack their secret identities. Since he doesn't know what would happen in this case...he moves on.

    Sat astride his horse, we meet the new Major Mapleleaf, the son of the original. He is speaking to some children in a school yard instructing them on how to safely cross the street. In the shadows of a nearby tree, Walter is watching, wondering if he could actually take this clown on as a member of his new Alpha Flight.

    Several hours later Walt is in a nursing home taking care of an old fellow named Rutherford Princeton, who seems to be comatose. Walt changes into Sasquatch form, scaring the old man awake, and thereby activating his latent super powers, that sends Sasquatch flying through the building, into a water tower. The two then go get a beer at a strip bar, and talk about Walt's plans. Once he's had the super hero scene explained to him (as he had been a coma for fifteen years) Mr. Princeton leaves with a couple of young women (the nurses from the nursing home), saying he's not interested either.

    Walt puts his head down, to be started by Major Mapleleaf appearing to say he would like to join the team, Next Yukon Jack (Yukotujakzurjimosoata) arrives, saying that he's in, but that he thinks he should be the leader of the team. From no where, the young bartender Zuzha Yu, and Nemesis (both dressed as strippers) come down the stage saying they are also in...just then Walter wakes up. The entire acceptance scene was a dream, and Walter still has no team. When Walt leaves the bar, and go out to his jet, he finds a note, and inside the jet is the deer that had been saved by Yukon Jack